


Who The Hell Is Kevin?

by Ian_is_so_very_lost



Series: Thorbruce as a whole (mainly Thorbruce week but I have too many ideas) [5]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce Banner-centric, Bruce Has Issues, Canon Backstory, Comfort, Comfort Food, Crack Crossover, Fluff and Crack, Ghosts, M/M, POV Bruce Banner, Secret Identity, Therapy, Thor (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Thor (marvel) has issues, ThorBruce Week, ha, implied holtbert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 13:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15558546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ian_is_so_very_lost/pseuds/Ian_is_so_very_lost
Summary: To be honest, Bruce expected none of this. Not aliens, not humaniod aliens, not being shot into space, not marrying a norse god, and certainally not lecturing about zenobiology of his husband to his alma mater. Because who would? He took it in stride with several panic attacks.But nothing prepared him for him learning something about his husband.





	Who The Hell Is Kevin?

“I’m just so surprised that they wanted me to lecture there.” Bruce said excitedly as he shrugged himself into the formal blazer that Tony had bought for him after one sleepless night watching binge watching Queer eye. 

“I don’t know why you’re surprised,” Thor reached over to softly wrap his hand around Bruce’s tie to pull Bruce into a deep, gentle, and loving kiss before he pulled away and smiled. “You are the leading scientist in regard to Gamma radiation and Asgardian specific Xenobiology and Xeno-anthropology. You’re so brilliant and they’re lucky to hear you speak.”   


Bruce blushed but rolled his eyes. He leaned back into Thor to meet him halfway for another kiss. “Yeah, but I never thought I would be able to lecture at my old college.”   


Thor laughed and tugged on his own formal attire, “That’s true but you never thought Aliens could exist and yet here we are.”   


Bruce giggled as he agreed, “Here we are indeed.”   


Thor leaned in for another kiss but then Bruce’s phone started ringing in his pocket. Bruce pulled the phone out and jabbed the green button.   


“What?” Bruce asked rather harshly, blushing from the interruption.   


“Don’t act like that, Mad scientist number 2, you told me to make sure you get out of the door. Also, did you drop Jodie off yet or is Happy just taking his time?”  Tony’s voice rang out of the phone.   


Thor and Bruce groaned in unison. They had asked him to do that. But now they were kind of regretting it, though it was good that he had followed through on the promise since they might have not gotten out of the house at all.   


“We’re heading out right now.” Bruce blatantly lied into the phone as he wrestled his feet into his dress shoes. “And yes we have, she’s been out of the house for the past five minutes. ”   


“Uh-huh, sure you are.” Tony said so blandly and clearly unconvinced. Bruce obviously couldn't see Tony, but he could almost see Tony looking at his well-manicured nails in a sense of boredom.   


Bruce ignored it and grabbed his keys from the mantel piece.  “Yeah, yeah. Well, call you later.”

He waved to Thor, mouthing ‘Let’s go’ and Thor nodded.   


Tony laughed in Bruce’s ear. “Yeah, Biday nichchhi.”   


Bruce huffed in amusement as he opened the door and held it open for his husband, “Bengali?”   


Thor passed him and gave him a kiss on the cheek before stealing the keys out of his hand and heading towards the car.   


Tony laughed again, "Ever since Hulk cursed at me in Portuguese during the last mission, I needed to figure out what else you could speak.”   


Thor beeped open the car and sat in the driver’s seat. Bruce locked the door behind him and smiled. “Have fun with that, Bhalo theko.” Bruce said and then hung up. He hurried himself down the stairs and sat himself in the passenger seat. 

He turned to Thor and smiled at how ... human his husband looked in the formal clothes. Thor usually had a godly air about him with his royal armor and stuff. And while that was attractive, Bruce liked this side as well.   


Thor smiled at his approving gaze but looked away to focus on the road.   


“Now we take our leave, kjæresten min.” Thor said as he drove out of the driveway and to the road.   


* * *

  


Bruce and Thor rushed into the hall.   


They were a bit late. Bruce will admit it. Though there was no way that this was his or Thor’s fault, it was bad traffic and bad parking. In hindsight, they probably should have gotten a lyft or whatever.   


But that wasn't important, what was important was finding room 327.   


They were in the right hall, Bruce was sure of it, but there were so many goddamn doors. Each one had a different number and some of them shared a classroom.   


Bruce was growing impatient. And anxious. His hands were probably growing greener by the second.   


“Excuse me, are you Doctor Bruce Banner?” A small voice asked, which led to both Thor and Bruce turning abruptly to see a young latina woman.    


“Yes, I am, and you are?” Bruce asked nervously, Thor grabbed his hand and squeezed his hand.

“I am Professor Alexandria Flores.” The woman smiled sweetly at Bruce before looking at Thor and seemed quite confused when she said, “Kevin what are you doing here? When I asked you if you were coming to the lecture, you said that you were going on a date? And you never told me you knew Doctor Banner.”   


Bruce blinked and looked around but there was no one but Bruce, Thor, and the professor. Who was Kevin?   


Before Bruce could voice his confusion, Thor step forward and greeted the professor in a very not-Thor kind of way. ” Oh yeah. About that... My date cancelled on me and Bruce here offered me to come to a lecture though I didn’t realize that it was the same event that you invited me to. Sorry ‘bout that.”   


That was so put together, Bruce almost believed it. Which was weird because Thor isn't usually this good of a liar, given how he folded whenever Bruce raised an eyebrow at him at the slightest lie of omission or white lie.   


Professor Flores waved of Thor’s apology. “It’s no bother Kevin, life happens.”    


Bruce looked back and forth between the two people in front of, equally confused. But Thor patted his shoulder and gave him a face that Bruce assumed to say, ‘we’ll talk later’. “We should go to the lecture hall; can you guide us there?”   


“Certainly.” Professor Flores said and led the two of them to a door and into a large lecture hall.

* * *

  


Bruce finished his presentation less focused than he had been originally. His brain just kept going back to the conversation in the hallway.    


Did she make a mistake between Thor and this Kevin? Was there a clone epidemic? Was there someone who looked like him that was being called something bland like David? Why did Thor respond? Did Thor follow some of the Avenger’s example and get a secret identity?    


Bruce felt his eye twitch with the enormous effort not to look at his Husband. What the fuck, Thor?   


Originally, he had a couple more jokes in his presentation and more minutes for questions. But after the hallway incident, he made time for 3 jokes and 3 questions with decent answers, not as short as Bruce would have had if he had less self-control.   


He looked at Thor and grabbed his hand, starting to walk out but ended up bumping into professor Flores. He smiled at her and hoped his teeth didn’t looked like a threat display. He had a habit of doing that when he was stressed. “Thank you, Professor, for allowing this to happen but we have to go.”

She smiled kindly at him, so he wasn’t giving her chimpanzee fuck-off face (with green veins courtesy of Hulk). Thank god that wouldn’t be easy to explain to Avengers PR (a.e Tony). “It was a pleasure Doctor Banner. It was nice to see you too, Kevin.”

Before Thor (or Kevin) could answer, Bruce pulled his arm. “Sorry, but there is something we have to get to. He’s got a doctor’s appointment at 9 in the morning and it’s already 8 pm. So, we should go.”   


He didn't stay long to see whatever face that Professor Flores made. 

He dragged his very heavy husband to the car and look at him dead in the eye. “We’re going to go home, I’m going to drink a pot of chamomile tea and eat some of the fudge you made, and then you’re going to tell me who on earth is Kevin. Because right now, my bets are either on pod people or clones.”   


Thor smiled, “I will.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Bruce groaned and then lightly hit his head on the steering wheel (he didn’t want to accidently honk right now, that would be embarrassing). He shifted his head to look at Thor from the steering wheel. “Sorry for being weird in there. I just wanted to go home and figure out what’s going on.”   


Thor’s eye softened. “Let’s go home and I’ll explain.”

Bruce lifted his head, nodded, and put the keys in the ignition. They start the drive back home in friendly silence until Thor turns on Npr. Bruce lets himself turn over their shared words on the familiar road home, letting them settle halfway there, and chuckling at joke on the radio.    


* * *

 

But by the time that they’re both back home, Bruce is back to confused and slightly stressed.    


He took a breather like Thor had suggested when they had crossed the threshold. He had sat down in the large comfy couch that Thor had brought home one day. He held his head in his hand and started doing a breathing exercise.   


After 20 minutes, he almost felt completely calm and then he heard a scraping sound and looked up to see Thor gently pushing the coffee table in front of him. He looked at the table to find a Hulk sized cup of tea, a pan of fudge, and a (very new) weighted blanket.   


He remembered his comment in the car that was soon followed by babble about bets and pod people, and he felt himself melt into the couch. “You remembered.”

“Of course, I remembered.” Thor said softly after he had kissed Bruce’s forehead gently. “Drink this for a little bit. I put some honey in it.”   


Bruce smiled while he sipped the not-too-hot tea. He watched his husband walk around the room and do various tasks, like dimming the lights and turning off the radio in the other room. Bruce smiled. His husband. God, he loved saying it and thinking that. His husband. Bruce giggled softly, not even going to deny it.

He just loves Thor so much.   


Thor hadn’t always been this... perfect, when dealing with Bruce’s issues. He had become frozen before or tried to hug him. Well at first. When Bruce had explained, he was better. He had learned when to back off and when to comfort. But this, Bruce thought as he took another sip, this was a new development.   


Thor sat down on the couch, though he was a foot away from him which was sweet (they had a big couch because they frequently had more than three guests over at a time). “Do you want to talk about it?”   


Bruce nodded and took another sip of his tea, setting down the mug for a second, then picking up the weighted blanket and putting it over his shoulder. He picked up the mug again, taking a sip before he said, “Yeah, it would be nice to know what Professor Flores meant when she called you Kevin.”   


Thor nodded softly. “I will, but I must warn you: it’s quite a long story.”

Bruce chuckled and shook his head. “Our entire life is just one complicated long story. I’m a radioactive semi-sane scientist with a habit of seeing green instead of red and you’re an alien god who can control the weather.”    


Thor chuffed and tapped the couch three times. I love you. “I know, but I warned you.”

Bruce smiled and tapped back, I love you. “I’m listening, so explain to me why you all of a sudden have a secret identity that neither Shield or your husband, me, know about and give some context into how you know a teacher at my alma mater.”   


Thor bit his lip and looked up, probably trying to remember the specifics. “Okay... so you know how you weren’t here because you landed on Sakaar.”   


Bruce lifted an eyebrow. “Yes. I’m very aware of this.”   


Thor smiled at him and tapped again. “Okay, so before Steve meeting his brother-in-arms and The Avenger’s First Breakup (or whatever in the nine realms that was), I was bored and visited Tony. He made a reference about me being a blond man of steel. I didn't know what that was, but Steve did. So then there was a movie marathon and a lot of comic store raids.”   


Bruce looked at Thor in disbelief. “So, you decided to get a secret identity after reading comics and binge watching the Superman movies? ... Even that one with Batman that Tony showed me?”   


Thor clenched his teeth in embarrassment. “.... Bruce, it wasn't just that. It sounds very silly now that you say it like that. There’s more to it.”

Bruce laughed. “Sorry. Please explain why you became Clark Kent and how you know the Professor?”

Thor was quiet for a moment before saying, “The secret identity has a lot behind it so you will have to wait for how it ties into present times. But I will get to it in good time, please be patient my love.”   


Bruce should not be melting this much; his husband was a health hazard. Bruce’s heart was going to explode. Bruce tried to mask how much that pet name got to him by softly saying, “I’ll try.”

Thor nodded and then continued where he left off before Bruce interrupted him.    


“And I found myself bored. Often. There were missions, but they were few and far between, our teammates were drifting and starting to lose contact with me, Jane was busy with getting a new grant and I had been explicitly instructed not to distract her, Daryll told me to leave after five months, and I was an irresponsible prince who was avoiding Asgard and my father. So, I tried asking Tony if he knew anything that I could distract me with. He was busy in his lab like he was after Ultron, so Pepper told me to act human and get a job.”

Bruce nodded, “And that’s where the identity came from.”   


Thor nodded before continuing, “Pepper made it look like I was a.... how did Tony put it.... Oh yes! He called me a ‘trust fund kid working on an bachelors in the arts at some off brand Ivy league school with my daddy’s money.’ ”   


Bruce laughed, that definitely sounded like Tony. “Takes one to know one.”

Thor nodded, his grin getting bigger by the minute. “That’s what Pepper said. But then nothing happened with any kind of job since I didn't know how to make a resume or know how to do anything with modern electronics. I told Darcy about it and she laughed at first but then a couple of months later, she sent me an ad for a receptionist that was made by a group called the Ghostbusters. Darcy told me that she knew one of them, Erin gilbert, a brilliant professor in Quantum physics but got fired due to a viral video and a book that she co-wrote about ghosts. ”   


Thor paused there, clearly expecting a reaction.    


Well, Bruce is going to give one.   


“Doctor Gilbert got fired? Ghosts? Are you sure?” He asked and raised his eyebrow.

Erin gilbert was one of his friends (or classmates, they didn’t talk much especially after January of junior year and Bruce has a sneaking suspicion that Joey was the cause of it) who was in one of his 3-hour long classes when he was working on his first degree. She was always very shy and twitchy. People seem to always make fun of her, for either something to do with ghosts or because they thought she was queer.   


Thor nodded. “Yes, she did, but she ended up having a better time out of the school.”   


“How do you know-” Bruce spluttered before sighing. “you took the job, didn’t you? How did that even happen.”

“She had put out an ad for a receptionist and also sent it to people she knew to try and get help. So, I ended up in a Chinese restaurant, telling them that I came in for the job and got it with my pretty face.” Thor grinned at Bruce.   


Bruce laughed before lightly hitting Thor on the shoulder. “You did not!”   


“I did. I was kind of an idiot at playing human. I didn’t know how to answer the phone or anything. And it was kind of apparent with how Erin kept looking at me.” Thor said and looked ... like how Jennifer always felt when a guy cat called her. “It was odd... but it ended up being fine after she and Holtz got together. But that’s not the point. I got possessed by a evil ghost and then tried to start the apocalypse. ”   


Thor smiled at the last bit, so Bruce is going to focus on the other parts of that sentence. He took a sip. “... Ghosts?”   


Thor nodded quite sagely, “Ghosts.”   


Bruce nodded, still mulling it over. “I can see why you told me that it was a long story. Wait a second, you got possessed?”   


Thor shrugged. “Yeah it was really weird, it took over my body and killed a bunch of people. It was weird, and the ghost apparently was a ‘sexist asshole’, so that was a disturbing experience.”

   


He blinked. Thor smiled. Bruce nodded slower, getting more and more confused by the minute. “Okay... continue I guess.”

“Uhm. Alright, so I was their receptionist before the dreams started.” Thor said and then stopped. A glassy look in his eyes.

Bruce tapped his shoulder. “The dreams?”

Thor blinked, coming back to himself. He nodded. “I didn’t know it at the time, but I started to see variations of Ragnarök. I saw Sutur, flames encircling Asgard’s highest towers, Baldur falling to the ground and staining it with blood and his eyes glazing over. I saw Loki and Heimdall fall to dust, the world eating giants at war with father, and a giant wolf eating the sun. I saw Asgard’s reckoning, so I took a pause at playing human and went to stop it. And ended up bringing it.”

Bruce put his hand on Thor’s shoulder and put his mug down. “Thor...”

Thor hummed.

“I know it’s not my fault, not entirely. But I was a part of it and Asgard had almost completed it’s fall before we arrived to stop Hela. She and her undead army killed over 65% of the realm. We saved my people from certain death, and yet... we are now so few.” He ran his hand through his short hair. That’s not a good sign.   


“No.” Bruce said. He grabbed Thor’s hands and replaced them with his own two.   


Thor blinked, his eye shining with unshed tears. “What.”   


Bruce pulled Thor over (apparently a smaller difference than he originally thought) and pressed his forehead to Thor’s. “I know it’s probably due time for an angst fest on your end after all this time listening to me and you definitely need it. But you were in no way responsible for Ragnarök. You didn't tell Odin to cage Hela, you didn’t make the prophecy, you’ve loved everyone and tried to appeal to their better nature. I love you and you are the reason that Asgard still lives. Heimdall said that Asgard is a people, not a place. And you’ve saved them from extinction. You are not a bad person. ”

Thor sniffed and brought one of his hands out of his lap to wipe his eye.   


“Thank you, my dearest love. I needed that.” He then made a face. “I was supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around.”   


Bruce smiled and kissed Thor’s forehead as he intertwined his hands with his husband’s. “That’s what marriage is, supporting each other through the bits where we remember our tragic backstories like young adult characters. Now, can you please explain how this relates back to why a teacher of my alma mater knows your secret identity.”   


Thor sighed and leaned back. “I’m trying. So.... after Ragnarök but before we landed on earth. It was one of the first nights where we started sleeping in the same bed and... you started screaming on the top of your lungs about not meaning to break something, and you started to turn green. I woke you up quickly, but Joey took control.”   


That’s a surprise.

“He asked me for a cigarette and told me it usually took the edge off when you had a nightmare that had your dad in it. He explained something that your brain tried to forget, and he told me how he was made from violence that your father had caused. So, when you came back to your body.... I just felt so helpless. You were so close to me and was able to help me whenever I had nightmares, but I couldn't do anything to help any of you.” Thor said, looking so sad. So helpless.   


Bruce made a small whimper at the back of his throat. No, he hated when Thor looked like that. It made him want to yell at whoever caused it but Bruce can only yell at himself so much before Thor notices.   


Thor looked at Bruce with his singularly beautiful blue eye full of such sadness and fondness. “Don't make that noise, you know that you didn’t like to open up and I was slightly clueless on how to help. My forms of helping would have been physical contact and that’s not the best course of action given your past. ”    


Bruce keened as he forced himself not to melt. “Honey-”   


But Thor cut him off.   


“So, when I we got back to earth and figured out how to integrate Asgard with Midgard successfully, I asked Tony if there was anything he would suggest and he suggested taking some courses on Psychology. And I took the advice. I applied for a university that was close and got a major in Psychology and worked when you had work, so you wouldn't realize that I was gone. Professor Flores is one of my teachers and helped me with some of the technically stuff. I sometimes go back to help Erin and her friends with their work to have some spare pocket money.”

Bruce felt his jaw drop. God, he loved this sappy, handsome, thoughtful god. Forget trying not to melt, Thor would have to clean him out of the couch since he had turned into Liquid Banner. Extra radiation.

He squeezed nine times. I love you, I love you, I love you. Bruce smiled at Thor with almost lovestruck awe. “.... what did I do to deserve you, you perfect alien god with a heart made of something clearly purer than love.”

Thor smiled and used his free hand to push a piece of hair out of Bruce’s face. He returned Bruce’s delicate and gentle kiss to his forehead, like he was some fairy princess giving a favor to a knight. “You were just as you always are; selfless, kind, charming, and world endingly handsome

He keened again and grabbed Thor’s face and planted a kiss firmly on Thor’s lips before going on to shower the rest of his face. “Jesus Christ, you are so-” 

Kiss. “Goddamn sappy-” 

Kiss. Firm kiss. Oh, French kiss? God damn Bruce loves Thor so much. 

He pulled away. “I love you so goddamn much” 

   
Thor looked at him, smiling like Bruce had given him a constellation, hung the moon, and had gotten him a horse. So goddamn sappy. “I love you as well.”

Bruce chuckled on his way to another kiss on that perfect face.

“Wait, I thought of something funny.” He giggled against Thor’s lips.

   
Thor’s eye came back from his lips, still half-lidded. His voice was quite low and deep when asked, “What is it?”

Bruce pulled away a couple of millimeters and grinned, “Isn't this a conflict of interests?”

Thor groaned but then chuckled. He looked at Bruce with the same adoring gaze. "Well I’m not a licensed psychologist and you’re not my client. So, short answer, no.”

Bruce giggled before closing the distance.    


“Thank god.” He whispered against Thor’s lips and didn’t speak for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading all of that. Please feed me kudos and comments. They fuel me and give me energy to contuine to write this cute ass gay shit (i'm soooooooo gay im going to die).
> 
> Bruce and Thor are both sweet hearts and I want to kiss them, feed them fudge, and force them to get therapy.


End file.
